Sun day

Tomorrow is the day of light and darkness, when the day and night stand equal and night starts creeping in. Indoors as I keep myself, it seems unlikely to affect me, but it is strange to miss the remembrance of the day.

Sev tells me little of his plans lately, and I must fret and avoid worrying, both at once, for to not know is safer.

There is a certain kindness in silence. The silence of the secret-keeper, who does kindness by his own honor. The kindness of the rebel, who does not trouble others with his words. To ask uncomfortable questions, to demand action, they burden others with a weight better carried alone. You keep silent, not because you are afraid, but out of compassion. Should you ask others to report you, to watch you disappear before the sun dawns, as mist on the lake? Should you ask them to keep silent for you? No, neither is kind. Neither does anyone any good.

This is not a problem to be solved by talking, after all, for words are the domain of women and old men. Youngsters such as Sev and I must to the battlefield – I to watch, and him to fight.

I am thoughtful today.

Naught for it but to take my weary eyes to bed, and warmth.

Comments (5)

llubnekAugust 30th, 2010 at 2:13 am

“Should you ask others to report you, to watch you disappear before the sun dawns, as mist on the lake does?”

The “does” on the end is superfluous. Nothing really wrong with it, but it doesn’t quite fit with the more poetic bent of the last two entries. How ’bout one of these?

“Should you ask others to report you, to watch you disappear before the sun dawns, as mist on the lake?”

“Should you ask others to report you, to watch you disappear before the sun dawns, like mist on the lake?”

“Should you ask others to report you, to watch you disappear before the sun dawns, as does the mist on the lake?”

adminSeptember 8th, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Taking off the does definitely strengthens that sentence, thanks!

K KJanuary 15th, 2012 at 11:52 pm

She has “to fret and to avoid worrying” at the same time? I’m confused as to why she has to fret. Is it just because she always frets about her husband – as is wifely duty?

adminJanuary 16th, 2012 at 8:37 am

She has to fret – can’t stop herself – and avoid worrying – because it’s the only way to avoid asking what’s going on, at which point Sev would feel obliged to tell her. She feels the need to do both, but it’s not out of obligation or duty.

adminJune 24th, 2012 at 5:30 pm

She can’t help fretting and needs to not brood. Anyway, she wouldn’t want to avoid worrying entirely – worry in that situation is entirely rational!

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